Build Them Up – part 2

The Don'ts - and then the Do's

In my last post, I showed you the importance of building up your children because of the low self-image that so many suffer from. Today, we will look at the most powerful do’s and don’ts for affirming your children.

First, the DON’TS.

DON’T notice every failure. This is a biggee. Try to catch yourself before saying “You always” or “You never” as these can have long-lasting consequences. If you notice and comment on every failure, pretty soon the child will begin to conclude that he or she is the failure.

DON’T look through the mail before you look at your child. This is especially the case for those of you with young children. When you come home from work, don’t pick up the mail – or the newspaper – before you look at them and engage them. Otherwise, the message they receive is that my dad is more interested in the mail than he is me.

Now for a couple of key DO’S.

DO let them know that second place, third place, honorable mention, or even active participant are all good. Being #1 is not always required. They should know that all you want is to see them giving whatever it is their best shot.

My personal favorite DO: Once in awhile give a flat-out verbal statement of total approval. “I just think you are the greatest – I’m proud of you just for being you.” And remember that God is an affirming father: “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Why don’t you let us know one or two ways you build your child up.

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